Friend Zoned

The Friend Zone

Perhaps your female friends are put off by your grammar and spelling, Brandon.  Communication is key in a relationship; what you’re doing here barely qualifies.

Here’s what your misguided rant should have looked like, Brandon, if you felt the need to post it at all.  In addition to correcting numerous spelling and grammar errors, I’ve taken the liberty to revise some of your stylistic choices.

Why do women always put nice guys in the friend zone but still complain and whine about wanting a nice guy to be with?  When you had one in front of you, you friend zoned him.  That makes no sense at all.

When a guy is there for you through your exes, bad dates, money problems, etc, it’s because he really likes you and wants to be the one for you (unless he’s gay).  You don’t see that, but you should before he’s gone.  People can only be tortured for so long before they break.  You say there’s none left; it’s because you keep torturing them until they snap.

Men are not Twinkies.  We have expiration dates.  Before we go bad and throw ourselves out, realize we’re there waiting for our turn to make you happy.

There…that’s certainly easier to read, even if it’s still stupid.

Now that we’ve addressed Brandon’s grammatical foibles, let’s examine the content of the message.  Here, in a nutshell, is the message Brandon seems to be conveying.

Waaaah! I was nice to you and you owe me sex!  If you don’t have sex with me, I’ll stop being nice to you!

Whenever a man whines about being “friend zoned”, this is exactly what I hear.  “Friend zoned” guys try to portray themselves as gentle heroes, slighted by the damsel they’re trying to protect.  But that’s not it at all.  They’re really just guys who thought they had an angle, and who are disillusioned because their angle didn’t work.  They’re projecting the bitterness of their romantic failure onto the target of their affections.  Isn’t that unfair to the lady in question?  You’re putting pressure on her to do something she obviously doesn’t want to do; namely, to date Brandon.  You’re implying that you know better than she does what would be best for her, romantically speaking.

Men, we can be better than this.  Let’s abandon the concept of the “friend zone” and face reality: not everybody is going to be attracted to us.  Also, let’s agree that we can be friendly just for the sake of being friendly, without expecting romantic reciprocation.  The world isn’t so bad when people are nice to each other for no reason at all.

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2 thoughts on “Friend Zoned

  1. Guys friend zone women, sometimes too. What I don’t like about this is that it starts with “Why do women always… ” Either follow that up with a fact that all women actually do, or put some moderation in like “Some women sometimes do this… ” or “This one woman friend-zoned me and then whined about not having a date.”

    • True enough, but the fact remains that the concept of the “friend zone” is ridiculous to start with, because it springs from a place of frustration and mistaken entitlement. Being nice to somebody DOES NOT guarantee a romantic relationship, and the sooner people realize that, the sooner we’ll stop hearing all this “friend zone” nonsense.

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