Creationism Drinking Game

I’ve seen this video passed around often enough, so I guess it counts as a meme.

Josh Feuerstein wants to destroy evolution in three minutes. He actually talks for 4 minutes and 48 seconds, but give him a break: it’s hard to disprove 150 years’ worth of evidence in just three minutes. Predictably, Feuerstein makes every Beginner Creationist mistake (he hasn’t graduated to Advanced Creationist mistakes, I guess). My original plan was to write a whole lot of words explaining why Feuerstein is entirely wrong, but then I remembered: I’ve already done that, and so have a lot of other people.

So instead, I’ve formulated the rules to a drinking game that one might play while watching Creationist videos like this one. For legal reasons, if you actually attempt to play this game while watching Feuerstein’s video, Stupid Bad Memes cannot be held responsible for damage or injury caused by excessive intoxication and/or alcohol poisoning. Drink responsibly.

Here are the rules. When watching a Creationist video, take a drink whenever a Creationist:

  • Infers that evolution acceptance and atheism are one and the same.
  • Conflates biological evolution with the Big Bang.
  • Conflates biological evolution with abiogenesis.
  • Claims that evolution is not scientific.
  • Claims that Creationism is scientific. (To his credit, Feuerstein never actually says this, but I’ve heard other Creationists make this claim.)
  • Uses some variation of the phrase “just a theory”.
  • Characterizes evolution as “mysterious” or “magical”.
  • Implies that the modern theory of evolution is entirely the work of Charles Darwin.
  • Claims that evolution has never been observed.
  • Claims that evolution requires just as much faith as Creationism (or even more).
  • Makes some variation of the following claim: Observed cases of evolution don’t count because we don’t see bacteria evolving into penguins.
  • Invokes the Second Law of Thermodynamics as an argument against evolution, even though it’s obvious he doesn’t understand it because he thinks it prevents “order” evolving “from chaos”, or some such nonsense.
  • Creates a laughably inaccurate analogy for evolution (or the Big Bang); a tornado creating a sports car from a junk pile, e.g.

If you’re not too sloshed by the end of the video, you can finish your drink when Feuerstein rolls out his armchair etymology for the word universe. According to Feuerstein, the word derives from uni-, meaning one, and verse, meaning a spoken statement. Hallelujah, even the word universe declares God’s handiwork!

Well, not so much. Feuerstein is half right; uni- does mean one. But the verse part of universe has nothing to do with a spoken statement. The second part of the word ultimately descends – dare I say evolves – from a Latin verb meaning to turn. So the word universe etymologically means turned into one. Now I suppose you could attach some religious significance to that if you wanted to, but be sure you’re attaching significance to the right words. It’d be pretty embarrassing if some snarky blogger with a search engine could prove you wrong in, say, three minutes.

I admit, the idea for a Creationism drinking game was not novel; I just set the rules to reflect the grievous astronomical, biological, and physical errors Josh Feuerstein makes in his rant.

RationalWiki has a drinking game to use if you ever run across one of those Advanced Creationists…you know, the ones who don’t actually use the Second Law argument anymore.

Somebody called Doktor Zoom posted a drinking game on Wonkette that was custom-tailored for the Bill Nye / Ken Ham “debate”. It’s much meaner than my drinking game. For example: if a Creationist says that evolution is “only a theory”, you’re to trip them and say that gravity is “only a theory”. Yeah, that’s pretty mean. Don’t do that.

One more: the Skeptic Friends Network has a thread in which the users have offered helpful suggestions about what kinds of Creationist tactics might drive you to drink.

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