In Which I Wax Poetic

Guns and Bibles

In honor of National Poetry Writing Month (NaPoWriMo, to those in the know) which starts today, April 1, 2014, I would like to respond to this meme in verse. Now my poetic stylings are certainly not on par with literary giants like Shakespeare, Longfellow, or Seuss, but I hope you like it nonetheless.


Come now, brother pacifists, pick up your arms and shed your vows
Of peaceful co-existence,
He who made this meme has said that shunning guns is not allowed.
Americans must learn to
Shoot a gun and if they don’t then shame! Oh, shame! upon our schools
For leaving us defenseless.
Homes and lives will soon fall prey to outlaws vile and villains rough
Who plan to leave no witness.

Come now, Muslims, atheists, and Jewish folk, the man says we
Need Biblical salvation.
Schools be damned for failing daily to enforce the Holy Laws
(As he comprehends them).
He who made this meme no doubt has hope that ev’ry school becomes
A holy roller nation,
Let no girl or boy begin a day of learning without saying
Proper supplication.

The man who made this meme (or woman, boy, or girl, it matters not)
Has made this very clear:
You must, you MUST think, love, pray, shoot exactly as he does or else
You are no patriot.
The schools which fail to train young minds with harsh guidelines to which they must
Definitely adhere,
Are damning us, consigning us as children of a nation all
To live in mortal fear.

And yet I do not live in fear (what shock!) nor do I own a gun
Or read the Holy Word.
Somehow I’ve been American without the grace of God or gat
And with help from my school.
So when conservatives are wont to rant and rave and make their claims
Which are all quite absurd,
I chuckle softly to myself and blog about it, saying how
This meme sure is a turd.

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