Dress To Oppress

Golden Rule of Fashion

Hey, I’m all for modesty when modesty is due, but what is this meme really saying? What if you don’t dress the way you want other women to dress around your husband? What will become of your marriage? What will become of their marriages? Can anybody’s marriage be saved?

You know, I spend so much time thinking about how these Stupid Bad Memes might offend others that it’s almost cathartic to say this: this meme offends me personally! As a married man, I am greatly offended. Why, you ask? After all, the meme only mentions husbands in passing, but what does it imply about us? Why must a woman be cautious in her choice of attire when she’s going to be around other women’s husbands?

Because men are pigs. That’s not actually the part that offends me, because a lot of men are pigs. No, we’re not all pigs (I for one try to limit my porcine behavior to rooting out truffles in the leafy forest undergrowth). The part that offends me is that nobody’s telling us not to be pigs! Where in this meme does it admonish husbands not to be led astray by immodestly dressed women? It doesn’t! So what does that imply? I’ll tell you: it implies that if a woman in a low-cut dress causes a man to step out on his wife, it’s entirely the woman’s fault, but it also implies that men are slaves to their desires. Think about it…if we trusted men not to follow their penises like vagina-seeking compasses, it would be completely unnecessary to warn women not to provoke them. And the only way we’re ever going to get to the point where we can trust men is if we start educating the men and not laying the entire onus of marital cohesion at the feet of women and their wardrobes.

If you’re a married man, you should be offended by this meme because the author holds you to be a child and a woman’s sexuality to be a shotgun that should be locked away for your own protection. I hope that my wife never feels that she has to chastise another woman because of the effect that woman’s attire might have on me (unless that woman’s clothes are highly radioactive and I’m being sickened by their emissions; in that case, chastise away, dear wife!) She trusts me to make the right decisions – the decisions that strengthen our marriage rather than tear it apart. That’s what’s important…not what anybody else is wearing.

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One thought on “Dress To Oppress

  1. Pingback: Fifth Floor: Ladies’ Apparel, Douchebags | stupidbadmemes

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