In Case of Zombie Apocalypse, Break Glass

Defense Weapons

I hate to keep digging back into the gun debate, but it’s such fertile grounds for stupid memes.

So what exactly are you defending yourself against? I can understand owning a gun for self-defense, but who’s attacking you if you need these guns? A simple handgun should provide plenty of defense. If you want to feel really tough, go for the Dirty Harry .44 Magnum. But when will you ever need to fire off more than six rounds at a time? When will you ever be in a protracted gun fight? When will you ever need to lay down suppressive fire so your comrade can advance toward the enemy bunker?

I’ve said it before, gun lovers: just be honest. Admit that you really like how it feels to cradle one of these super-powerful death-penises in your arms. Stop trying to justify your lust for firepower as “defense” and using the Second Amendment as a shield. It’s embarrassing.


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