Is Wonka a Cheney smoker?


You know, I used to like Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory, but I don’t think I could watch it anymore. I’ve seen so many stupid memes featuring the grinning face of Gene Wilder that I simply don’t think I could watch the movie without having to fight the urge to vomit. And when I say stupid, I mean really stupid, as if meme-makers save their most idiotic comments to pair up with a fictional candy-maker.

Now that’s completely irrational, I know. Neither Gene Wilder nor any of the cast and crew of Willy Wonka have anything to do with these memes. I bet they too wish the memes would stop. It doesn’t make sense to hate a movie because of what people have done with one frame featuring one character. But I do, and I’m sorry.

I pray they never start making memes from The Hunt for Red October or Conan the Barbarian or The Princess Bride or any of the other movies I watch every time they come on.

Now about this meme: I don’t think Dick Cheney is a very good person at all, but I do believe (for lack of any compelling evidence to the contrary) that the shooting incident was entirely accidental. I’m sure I could easily find a conspiracy theorist who will argue about that point all day, but I’m not trying to. As far as the official record goes, Cheney was participating in entirely legal activities using an entirely legal weapon…which is still legal following Big Papa Obama’s gun control decrees. So to bring up the shooting incident, as if it somehow undermines Cheney’s problems with Obama’s gun control executive orders, is sort of pointless. I guess the meme is supposed to point out the irony of a man who shot somebody in the face arguing against stricter gun control laws, but in my opinion it misses the mark entirely. If Cheney had been hunting with an assault rifle when he shot Harry Whittington, or if Obama’s gun control orders specifically forbade hunting guns like the one Cheney was using, then this meme might have a valid point to make. But since neither of those situations is true, this meme appears to be a poorly-disguised attempt to take a cheap shot at Cheney by bringing up an accident that occurred seven years ago. Come on, folks: Cheney has done and said so many horrible things – on purpose – that we really don’t need to focus on the one thing that was legitimately an accident, do we?

Let’s have an analogy. Many years ago, when I was in college, I rear-ended another car because I was fiddling around with my crappy factory-model radio instead of paying attention to the road. Nobody was hurt, but I jacked up his rear bumper pretty good. Now suppose the President pushed an executive order banning those huge five-thousand Gigawatt stereo systems that rattle windows and wake the dead (and presumably prevent drivers from thinking clearly enough to drive safely). Maybe I’m opposed to the President’s idea. Maybe I think people should be allowed to install whatever seismic event-inducing stereo monsters they want. Should Willy Wonka smirk at me and remind me that my opinion on stereo control is irrelevant because I had a radio-related accident a long time ago? Of course not. My arguments regarding stereo control should be judged on their own merits. Now good day, sir.

I said GOOD DAY!


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